To Dearest Mother

My darling Mother,

It has been almost two years since I left you, Mother. I am continually amazed at how much I miss you. I’ve wanted to pick up the phone so many times to share something that is going on in my life here. But I am hesitated to share with you. So many things touch me in deep places now and kon know it’s because of you, Mother. I find myself crying many times – at little things. A word my second russian mother talked to me as if I were her own son, a word on a TV show, a passage in a book, seeing children with their mothers on the road, or just because. Tears have always been hard for kon. You never taught me how to cry. You taught me how to withhold my feelings and be strong on the outside and inside.

Having a mother like you while growing up is the greatest gift and biggest advantage anyone could ever have given kon. It is because of the confidence and values that you instilled in me that made me who I am today. Mother, thank you for shaping me into a person who I like and am proud to be. Thank you letting kon believe that I could be whoever I wanted to be, do whatever I wanted to do, there were no limitations except my drive, ambition and creativity.

There are still some things I remember you teaching me or saying to me I will probably never agree with. I was angry sometime about them. There are other things in which I’m now able to see your wisdom, hindsight is so clear! For those I can now thank you. Through it all though, I know you are always doing your best for me and the rest of the family. You have lived your life based on a truth I do not yet know.I remember all the times you had to remind me to clean my room. I thought all mothers felt it their duty to constantly reinforce the chores they wanted to have repeatedly done. i had no idea that you were reminding me because you wanted me to be the ” Best ” that I could be ! Now, Mother I am grown. I appreciate the guidance and your deepest and purest love I have gotten from you. I can, with pride, say that ” I owe it all to you– Mother that care enough to share with me your very best” .

Having you in my life through out my infertility has been a literal life and sanity saver for me. If there was a text book on how to be the perfect mother to a son, it would have you as the role model.

Thank you for being such a wonderful mother when your own mother never held you, never told you she loved you. Thank you for being so wonderful when your own childhood was so hard, your mother was so hard. I am so sorry you never got to experience how wonderful it is to have a loving caring mother.

Thank you dearest mother, I love you, more than words can ever express.

Eng H. Leng

Pongsavada Khmer ( The Root Of Khmer )

Pongsavada Khmer in English

All Khmers, please remember the root and history of our great country
Our boundary was wide and well known
Others always thought highly of our race
And always placed our race as the elders.

We have great heritage and culture
Which has spread far and wide in the Far East.
Religion, arts and education,
Music, philosophy and strategies are all that we have spread.

All Khmers, please remember our roots and history
Which speaks of the grandeur of our great race
Make up your mind and body and try hard to rebuild
In order to lift the value of our nation
To once again rise to the greatness that we once had.

Pongsavada Khmer en Francais

Tout Khmers, souvenez-vous s’il vous plaît de la racine et de l’histoire de notre grand pays
Notre limite était large et bien connue
D’autres pensaient toujours hautement à notre course
Et toujours placé notre course comme les anciens.

Nous avons le grand héritage et la culture
Qui s’est étendu lointain et large dans l’Extrême-Orient.
La religion, les arts et l’éducation,
La musique, la philosophie et les stratégies sont tout que nous nous sommes étendus.

Tout Khmers, souvenez-vous s’il vous plaît de nos racines et histoire
Qui parle de la grandeur de notre grande course
Décidez-vous et le corps et essayez durement de reconstruire
Pour soulever la valeur de notre nation
De nouveau monter à la grandeur que nous avions une fois .

Lyric by: 

 Samdech Sangha Raja Jhotañano Chuon Nath ( March 11,1883-September 25,1969)

                      The late Supreme Patriarch Kana Mahanikaya of Cambodia.

 

Missing Has Never Been Finished !

Ooo My Cambodia ! My Mother ! My Father ! My Siblings ! My Relatives ! My Friends ! I really really miss you all ! How can I express my deep emotion how much I miss you ! How much I love you !

There are remain only two weeks I’m going to have my first examination. But tonight I’m sitting near the window and looking outside with the feeling of Missing, Missing, Missing to those who is far away in my homeland, Cambodia. Now it’s 2 a.m the sky is too dark. No sound was heard, except the one rain and wind. Nothing visible, except fogs around the campus where I live.

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Seeing people with their families makes me feel lonely from family, relatives, friends, my beloved parents and my country- Cambodia. I wonder when I can meet them again. How long I have to spend my life in Moscow to finish my higher education ? I am really moved and want to return to my homeland as soon as I can at the thought of these things. Seeing Russia’s scenery,makes me miss my homeland, homestead, my rice fields, my cows, my dogs and remembrance since my childhood in Kampong Cham province.

In this summer I went to visit the suburb of Moscow for the first time. It can be compared to Kampong Cham provincial town. The night was covered by shiny moon light, accompanied by glittering stars. It was quite cool. The moonlight here is not as nice as the one I used to have in Phnom Penh and in Ta Pao village where it's surrounded by rubber plants and green trees with the smell of Nakry and Romdul flowers around my house. The sound of barking dogs…These are unforgettable remembrances I used to have in my homeland. Ooooo my homeland, Cambodia! I miss you so much mother. I want to return to get a genuine picture of your lives and to share my contribution to Cambodia, the place I really love. I was born in Cambodia and am interested in serving the Khmer people from the bottom of my heart. My strength is nurtured by our beloved Cambodia and I am grateful to her. My hands, my physical strength and my intelligence must be used to help the country.

In the matter of fact, if someone asks me: Why do you want to return back to Cambodia? Don't you like Russia?- Frankly speak without involving with politics, from my heart I tell you that: I love Moscow. I love this country, where it was once called by US president Ronald Reagan " The kindom of Evil". I've started to know this feeling since the day I walked alone on a long quiet road, where I could see yellow leaves were falling down under the influence of the wind in Fall. This picture is similar to the imagination I used to had while I was in Cambodia. However,there is different between Cambodia and Russia. So, what’s the point of living here? It would be better to live in Cambodia than to live here as a foriegner. Moreover, I have to return home as I am eager to see my family; we have been separated for quite a long time. What’s the point of enjoying a lonely life, while my beloved mother is full of sorrow each day because she misses me? Without mental calm and being full of sorrow, how can I enjoy my life here? I would rather face physical difficulties than be worried. This seems to push me to decide to return home as soon as I can. It doesn’t matter what hardships I will face. I would be happy to suffer rather than be worried.

It's my commitement after finishing higher education in Moscow: I have to return to my country, no matter how poor and difficult my life will face. I'm satified to bring my little knowledge to help Khmer, to promote the national prestige and to help developing country with my potential khmer people. My hands which have been offered by Khmer must in turn help Khmer.

Eng H.Leng

Everything I Do For Love

Bondam Neak Tmor ( Message From Angkorian Naga )

  

Oh My Khmer Children ! Listen to me carefully,

I am [ Angkorian Naga ]  an emblem and a protector of your country. I stand firmly in your country, Cambodia.  Even It rains all nights and days, even the weather it’s dry;The sun so hot I froze to death,
My Khmer Children don’t you cry ! I stand for greater and more glorious achievement than can be found in recorded history, but you must be my inspiration.Cambodia, land where my fathers died. Oh my Khmer children, I only regret that I have but one life to lose for your country, Cambodia !  I was born an Angkorian Naga; I live a Cambodian ; I shall die a Cambodian. Cambodianism means the virtues of courage, honor, justice, truth, sincerity, and hardihood — the virtues that made Cambodia. I have pride to be born as Cambodian Naga !  Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, to assure the survival and success of our freedom, our territory and glory.

             

Cambodian Girls and Cambodian Guys ! I’ll always stand up to prevent your country  ! I’ll always stand up to prevent your national heritage ! I’ll always stand up to prevent your national prestige !  You should always remember the devotion of your national heroes. You should know that there’s a lot of men dead for you ! to make you sleep in peace at night when you lay down your head. I still standing firmly in your territory. I prevent your country, Cambodia ! Don’t you cry for my devotion ?  I promise you, My Beloved Children, that I will never let anyone cause you pain; And my life, it will be yours forever ! But I am what you make me. I am purity if you are pure. I am bravery if you are brave. I am loyalty if you are loyal.

Buddha bless Cambodia, land that I love, Stand beside her, and guide her, Through the night, with the light  from above, from Angkor, From the mountains, From the oceans…. ! God bless Cambodia, my home sweet home !

National Anthem Of Cambodia

                             
Lyrics in Khmer

Translation from khmer

Som pouk tepda rak sa moha khsath yeung
Oy ben roung roeung doy chey monkol srey soursdey
Yeung Khnom preah ang som chrok Krom molup preah Baromey
Ney preah Noropdey vong Khsattra del sang preah sat thm­r
Kroup Kraung dèn Khmer borann thkoeung thkann.

Prasath séla kombang kan dal prey
Kuor oy sr­may noeuk d­l yuos sak Moha Nokor
Cheat Khmer dauch Thmar kong vong n­y l­ar rung peung chom hor.
Yeung sang Khim por pheap preng samnang robuos Kampuchea.
Moha r­th koeut mien you ang veanh hey.

Kroup vath aram lu tè so sap thoeur
Sot doy am no rom lik koun poth sasna
Chol yeung chea neak thioeur thiak smos smak tam bep donnta
Kong tè thévoda nùng chuoy chrom chrèng phkot phkang pra yoch oy
Dol prateah Khmer chea Moha Nokor

Lyrics in French

Que le ciel protège notre Roi
Et lui dispense le bonheur et la gloire.
Qu’il règne sur nos coeurs et sur nos destinées,
Celui qui, héritier des Souverains bâtisseurs,
Gouverne le fier et vieux Royaume.

Les temples dorment dans la forêt,
Rappelant la grandeur du Moha Nokor.
Comme le roc, la race khmère est éternelle,
Ayons cofiance dans le sort du Campuchéa,
L’Empire qui défie les années.

Les chants montent dans le pagodes
A la gloire de la Sainte foi Bouddhique.
Soyons fidèles aux croyances de nos pères.
Ainsi le ciel prodiguera-t-il tous ses bienfaits
Au vieux pays khmer, le Moha Nokor.

Lyrics in English

Heaven protects our King
And gives him happiness and glory
To reign over our souls and our destinies,
The one being, heir of the Sovereign builders,
Guiding the proud old Kingdom.

Temples are asleep in the forest,
Remembering the splendour of Moha Nokor.
Like a rock the Khmer race is eternal.
Let us trust in the fate of Campuchea,
The empire which challenges the ages.

Songs rise up from the pagodas
To the glory of holy buddhistic faith.
Let us be faithful to our ancestors’ belief.
Thus heaven will lavish its bounty
Towards the ancient Khmer country, the Moha Nokor.

 Lyrics: His Highness Patriarch Chuon Nat (1883-1969).  Adopted: 1941.

                                          

                                                 Historical Background

The song derives its name from an ancient Khmer kingdom.  Its music was adapted from an old folk tune.  The country originally adopted this anthem in 1941, but it was replaced after the Communist Khmer Rouge took over in 1976.  “Nokoreach” was restored in 1993, when Cambodia became a constitutional monarchy. 

 

WHO AM I ?

WHO AM I ? WHY I HAVE TO LIVE ?

These are the questions I’ve been asking myself for years. For a long time I have lived my life like a sitcom. Each episode their own and each episode portraying a different “person”. Who was I going to be that week, who did I want to be that week? Growing up in a middle-class family, I had enough the luxury of doing almost anything I wanted to do. I, as a young boy, played football, table tennis, rode bycicle, whatever I had the opportunity to do. I loved singing alone, recorded my own voice in recorder at age 16, and thought I was going to tour the world as a super man or a famous one. I was the one day famous man and whatever else evoked some inspiration for my flavor of the week. But while I look back on my decisions (whether right or wrong) one thing always remained true… I followed what made me passionate at that time.

Now I sit back and see where I am now and what I have overcome and I can honestly say that there were a couple of years that I did not know if I would have passed. I was definitely gullible, naive, and vulnerable with the people that I had met and had made a choice to hang out with. But through it all, I can only say that I am grateful for my family and my real friends who have stuck by me while I may have turned my back on them. I am grateful for core people in my life who have supported me since day one and who really want to see me at my best.

I know I am intelligent, talented, ambitious, and driven. I believe that life is what you make it. You can be whoever you want to be and you can achieve all that you want if you set your mind to it. I am energized with life experiences. I love to travel, to take risk, to grow, to invest, to read, and to reflect.

Life it meant to be lived and I am starting now… age 20.

Ream Sok Mony

The Words Of Wisdom Of Khmer Ancestors

      

My Beloved People:

Your goodness and your bravery are the hallmarks of our hope. We, your heroes and your respectful ancestors, never have evil or vengeful wishes towards you and Cambodia. We only have good wishes, tender care and love for you and our khmer people in our hearts. We have no room for harmful thoughts or evil acts to tarnish our good intention for people and country. Our love for you is infinite and pure. We fought for you ! We fought for our next generation ! We fought for protecting our territory !

 We are not sad or embarrassed if you lack material luxuries, but we are truly sad and embarrassed if you are lack of patriotism, weak, cruel, coward and selfish . Our country, Cambodia, is not the only thing to which we owe our allegiance. It is also owed to peace, independence, justice and to humanity.  Patriotism consists not in waving the flag, but in striving that our country shall be righteous as well as strong. 

            

We are glad and contented to see our country be glorious by your hands of devotion.  We are especially proud to see you have become the good and strong people.

With our best wishes to you !

Bat Dai Mae ( Mother’s Hands )

           Thank Mee for being the best Mee kon could ever have hoped for; a Mee that supports and encourages kon in all that kon do and every decision kon’ve made. Thank Mee for being a Mee that inspires kon to be a better man. Thank Mee for always forgiving kon when kon did mistakes. Thank Mee for sharing Mee life lessons with kon. Thank Mee for showing kon how to stand up for myself and what kon believe in. Mee, thanks for everything Mee’ve gave kon ! Mee, always remembers Mee deep gratitudes to kon in my whole life.

                             

 Mee, Bat Dai Mee always devote for your children. You’re working hard to feed us and to support us. Your soft hands become the dirty hands. Only One Reason: Children !

 Kon Mee understand your devotion:  Mee !!! Mee !!! Mee !!! kon nerk Mee !!! Kon sror lanh Mee…

When Mee becomes pregnant, Mee lives every day thinking only about kon until Mee gives birth many months later. During this time, as Mee abdomen increases in size, Mee grows increasingly exhausted. Mee loses the healthy glow from your face or Mee experience difficulty breathing, and Mee encounters tremendous physical challenges. However, as soon as kon was born, Mee’s great pain and suffering immediately leave Mee mind. Mee heart is full of a sense of satisfaction at having gained a most valuable treasure, and Mee proceeds to raise kon to the best of Mee ability. When there is no food, Mee will find something to eat for kon, even if Mee goes hungry. Even if Mee wears rags, Mee will find decent clothing for kon. Throughout Mee life, kon’s happiness remains Mee top priority.

           According to the sutra, “The Debts of Gratitude Towards Parents” , there are ten types of debts of gratitude.

1)     Gratitude for protection during pregnancy : Gratitude towards the mother, who is always mindful of the baby in her pregnant body and is careful to focus all her efforts to protect against miscarriages.

2)     Gratitude for enduring great pain and suffering.: Gratitude to the mother for enduring the pain of childbirth.

3)     Gratitude for letting go of the memory of the pain suffered in giving birth: Gratitude to the mother for replacing her suffering with joy, as soon as she gives birth.

4)     Gratitude for mother’s milk: Gratitude to the mother for giving milk to the baby and raising him.

5)     Gratitude for sacrificing comfort.: Gratitude to the parents for letting the children sleep in a warm, dry place, even when their area is damp and uncomfortable.

6)      Gratitude for cleaning and purification: Gratitude to the parents for cleaning up after the children.

7)     Gratitude for providing good food to the children: Gratitude to the parents for giving delicious food to the children, even if they, themselves, must eat unappealing things.

8)     Gratitude for the parents’ willingness to go to all lengths for the children : Gratitude to the parents for being willing even to descend into hell for the sake of the happiness of the children.

9)     Gratitude for prayers at a distance: Gratitude to the parents for constantly praying for the safety of their children who have gone to live in a distant location.

10) Gratitude for prayers until the last moment: Gratitude to the parents for always continuing to pray for their children’s safety and happiness, even if they, themselves, are dead or alive.

 

Sampot Hol Mae (Mother’s Silk Sampot )

 

     Dear my beloved daughter !

           I [mother] am so happy to see you are growing being a beautiful teenager. I am so happy to see you are becoming a Khmer beautiful girl. Your beauty is the valuable treasure of a girl.

           I [Mother] remember that when I was a teenager as young as you, your grandmother gave me a valuable and beautiful silk sampot.

            Ooh my beloved ! Now I decide to give the silk sampot to you in order to decorate your lovely body  to make you’re more attractive and become a  khmer beautiful girl or an Ankorian princess.

How beautiful khmer silk textile ! How wonderful of natural dyes of the silk !

                  My dear daughter ! Please take care this Khmer valuable silk sampot. Because it is the soul of mother and it is the heritage of our family and the symbol of our glorious Khmer culture.