Letter From Phnom Penh: It’s Not Bad Luck, But Just Good Chance !

Dear dearest krishna,

I received your letter this morning. It’s a pity that the result of your exam was not successful. Maybe your preparation period was not long enough because of your sickness. Although you say to yourself, it doesn’t matter, I imagine that the fact that you didn’t succeed, somehow affects or shadows your present mental condition, at least unconsciously. For, our mood is so easily influenced by such a small thing in our daily life. But anyway I wish you would succeed in it next time. I hope you are already out of depression when you read this letter, but if you are not, I feel sorry for you. During the time you were in Cambodia, I never saw you depressed as you are now in your last letter and you always overwhelmed me by speaking of depression so vigorously. But I know that you have the ability to ‘play with’ the depression when it comes, instead of being defeated by it completely. However, I was so surprised when you wrote such these phrases: you are getting tired of life, tired of living there, tired of sickness, tired of weakness…etc. I hope that your strength to struggle is much stronger than your “degree of ‘getting tired of everything’ “. I wonder what’s the real problem that makes you said that you feel ’something like extremely tired’ with living in Moscow. I imagine that when you’ve got completely used to one thing, you begin to feel dissatisfied with the status quo and to seek for something new. But I think it would be better not to quit all the comfortable things in your present life. It’s only one year since you have been settled down there in Russia. Dearest darling ! Actually, I don’t understand what’s happening with you now. Are you sick ? or are you missing family ? / From your last letter I cannot make a clear conclusion besides the idea that you are sick and going to have a medical treatment in hospital for along period of time. Is it right ? Tell me pls, darling ! I really want to know what you mean in your last letter. Darling ! If my conclusion is right please take care yourself. Don’t think too much it will be better. It’s not bad luck, but you have to think that it’s good chance for you to find out the meaning of life, the meaning of struggle and the meaning of helping you by yourself. Darling krishna, I have a fairy tale of the 3 princes to tell you. Pls read it and consider the moral of the tale: Long time ago, there were three princes lived in a kingdom– Indrabatr Borei. These 3 princes traveled around, coming upon experience after experience of misfortune and seeming disaster in the lives of others. But as a result of their visits and the happy discoveries they made, the disasters or tragedies were turned into greater successes and happinesses than before. On one occasion, the three princes came to a farmhouse where an unfortunate accident had taken place. The farmer’s only son had been thrown from the farmer’s only horse and had broken his leg. The horse had then run off and could not be found. The farmer was quite distressed, but the three princes told him not to worry, “It’s too soon to judge; something good will happen.” This country happened to be involved in a war at that time with a neighboring country. The next morning, a squad of soldiers arrived at the house to forcefully conscript all young, able-bodied men into the army. As it happened, the farmer’s only son had a broken leg so he was spared from conscription. Later that day, representatives of the government came by to seize all horses that could be used by the army. But since their only horse had run off, again the farmer was spared. Later, the army lost a great battle and most of the men and horses were killed. What appeared to be an unfortunate event, the breaking of the leg and the escape of the horse, turned out to be the salvation of the farmer. Some time later, after the war, the horse came home of its own accord, leading several other wild horses. The son’s leg soon mended. And the farmer was happy. An apparent disaster turned out to be a series of blessings in disguise.

Dearest darling, I think that this sort of thing will happen to you as well this time if you allow it and you look for it. Sometimes, your sickness this time would bring you some good lucks that no one knows. Well, now it’s midnight, darling. I have to go to bed now. So I finish my letter here. I hope that even you’re in hospital, you can receive and read it with the satisfaction.

With my deeply love,

sikar tevie

P.S. Be strong darling ! It’s not your misfortune, but it’s just the test !