Letter From Phnom Penh: Two heads One Heart

letter-from-pp1
Saturday November 15, 2008

Dear krishna,

By the time this letter reaches you, I hope that your first exam on November has been over; though if you’re still in its process, I wish you a good luck.
Thank you very much for your letter ( 17th ). I just received your hand writing letter with the photos yesterday. It’s too late ! I think that the post office in Cambodia works so slowly. It spent more than 3 weeks to reach my hands. How nice of you to have written to me almost every day. But it’s not true that I didn’t write to you ‘for a long time’. You may wonder what I’m doing in these days.
Well, it’s quite an inactive life as before. How can I tell you what I’m feeling when sometimes, I don’t even understand myself? I wish things were perfectly wonderful between us, but we’re going to have to work at it to make them that way. I do believe we have so much to build on… our memories and our love most of all. I may not always understand why we have problems, or exactly how to make our relationship stronger, but I care enough to want us to try to find out. krishna my love! These days I am spending time to read my diary when we were studying in high school. I feel that I did big mistakes on you. Do you remember the Chrismas day (2006) you gave me a bird ? Absolutely, I do believe that you still remember that sorrow day. That time you gave me a small box ( I didn’t expect to recieve from you ). I’m still amazed at what you gave me ! In the red small box there are 2 parts. The first part of the box it’s just a lovely paper-bird. While the second one is the two small paper-hearts. It’s so suprising ! I absolutely know that it’s not just a simple bird and hearts. But it means more than this !
krishna ! Do you know what I was thinking the time when I opened your red box ? I felt angry with you ! I hated you…. I hate someone loves me ! I asked myself why it should be me ? Why ????? That’s why that night after recieving your bird I could not sleep well. I wanted to threw it in front of you to express how much I hate and afraid of the word ” Love “. So I took another bird that I made by myself to you and kept your small bird inside it and said ” It [ my bird ] is pregnant “.( I just found the other two paper-hearts in the second part of your box that’s why I didn’t give you back with your bird that time ) Sonang hery bong eing ! Kom ey amaz mok jerng…:b). Do you still keep that big bird ? Sorry, in fact the baby inside is your bird. I put it in the big bird. I didn’t know that it’s better to keep it or not, I know it means more than just a bird. I afraid that I could not take care it well or make it hurts , so just let you keep it by yourself. And the phrase ” It is pregnant ” -this phrase I wanted to tell you that inside it is a baby, your baby!! Angry ???

On the other hand, krishna I have one question to ask you :

” It is called the Real Love ? When you know that She loves you because She doesn’t want to make you embarrass in turn of rejection “.

Ok, darling I change the topic. Let’s me tell you what is going on in our country:

First of all, it’s so suprising news Gen. Hok Lundy, head of national police, was killed on Sunday November 09,2008 in a helicopter crash while flying to Svay Rieng province in bad weather.

The last but not least news, the dispute between Cambodia and Thailand over preah vihear temple and territory around. I think that it’s the boring topic. Anyway, let’s me express my idea: Everytime of negotiation Thailand insists on the use of maps drawn by itself, without Cambodia’s agreement, is against the spirit of good neighbourly respect and contrary to international laws. Those maps have no legal basis under international laws. So, if Thailand is insisting on using the maps unilaterally drawn by Thailand itself, will there ever be an agreement and peace at all? I have a short story to tell and to ask you. Suppose that your neighbour drew the new plan of his house ( Using the plan drawn by himself without your agreement and authority). His real land only 25*40 but when he drew the new one 30*55. So it is called justice ? Can you accept it ? I do believe that you do not agree ! My conclusion, if that is the case, is there any room for Cambodia to manoeuvre in the negotiations?

Ok, darling in this letter I wrote a lot. I wish that you find it not the boring letter. My last word to you to finish this letter: I want to tell you that the love I have for you is undying. It is a love that is strong and enduring and will stand the test of time. I truly feel blessed that you have become a part of my life. I want to lie next to you and fall asleep in your arms. I want to wake to your beautiful smile. I want to share in your joys and sorrows. I want to be your everything, because you are everything to me.

With love,

sikar tevie

P.S. Don’t forget darling answer my question !